lots of things changing. i did a BIG thing for myself today and i am proud of myself waaaaahhh

old friend getting married this weekend in the desert nd i'm going to their wedding ! she used to be like an older sister to me, forever will be one of the coolest people i know.

they made a website to rsvp to their wedding on, which had a beautifully written section dedicated to their story and how they met. it said that her fiance knew that she was the one while playing an alice in chains song on guitar hero ... rly made me cry sweet happy tears

maybe JUST MAYBE there is still hope for me ... maybe i am not really going to die alone .... idk tho LOL

ok another diary entry for today. cannot stop thinking about the film shiki-jitsu. need to rewatch it. the girl reminds me of my past self + it breaks my heart into a millionbajillion pieces. sometimes she's still sooo me

i am the biggest idiot known to man and each day I REGRET ALL OF MY DECISIONS KKFDSAJIOFDSOAfjidoasj whatever u do don't be like me and try to argue with your landlords I GIVE UP!

theory of a Young Girl and i am the Young Girl. i love girl lifestyle and performing as girl and turning myself into some sort of human spectre. i love makeup and clothes and the like. when i'm alone i'm kind of like a child tho. anyways i showed my webbed site to a friend and she said that this site is a childlike escape. i think she's right

no dopamine in brain right now. very alone. hurthurthurts. sick girl sick girl SICK girl. i might Break soon i may Feel It.

talked to dr and got re-evaluated. the audhd is real. but we already knew that LOLOLOL

2day i burned 4 pieces of bread. 7 burnt pieces of bread in the past 24 hrs. yea tht explains my mental state. sumtimes it feels like i blink and BAM day over. girl failure is a LIFESTYLE

have been having health problems nd i'm stuck in-freaking-side unable 2 be upright for extended periods or do any work. so STAGNANT reminds me of my hikkineet days. mindbodysoul unhappy with me. hospital-chan destroyer of health immediately need mana

born to be EMO forced to be MOE

everyday i think about idols. every darn day and it makes me so emotional. because i love them so much. yea

i saw miku YEAAAH ! everyone was nice and sweeeeet there and i brought my pet leek. went 2 kikuo show too and lost my marbles. i love escapism nya

lots of new life changes! broke out of the tatami galaxy, cut off my long hair, enrolled in school, and living a more private life in general. i got a new job yeah i guess u could say i'm a SALARYMAN no eating dirt for me.

fresh new start for my diary! rip to all my previous entries. yeeeeaaahaw pardner